The body does not harbor remorse for its desires. It follows them relentlessly. The gravitational pull toward a man’s earthy smell. Pheromones flood the system. Brown eyes dilate in dizzying wonder. Hairs stand on end, like soldiers straight-backed, rigid in command. Goosebumps freckle skin. The primal instinct rises with no apology. The obesity of longing consumes me. This body is an erogenous vessel in a vast ocean of feeling. Do I drown in the sensations or float above dumbly, experiencing only the surface? I want the depth, the dirtiness. I demand both the inflated imaginative force of lust and the confrontative challenge of love. I am an insatiable woman. I want the wildness and the wisdom of life in full color. The body is a canvas and I paint with all the shades.
I scribble outside the lines of the self-portrait and embrace the messiness of womanhood. I paint with the blush pink of feminine submissiveness. Take this body and use me in the way you please. I surrender to the forensic exploration of subtle intimacy. I revel in the sky blue sweetness of sex in a devotional partnership. Love expands outwards, and the whole world transforms into the image of the beloved. The sky is everywhere, and I see you in everything. I indulge in the scarlet red shade of fucking just to fuck, the brutality of conquest. Getting what I want, and how I want it. The taking of experience for the experience itself.
The predatory nature of desire. The humanness of my hunger. The inner dilemma contemplates, "can I be both human and holy?" Can God live within the greed of futile endeavors? Can divinity be the chokehold and slap in the face as his body reaches for mine? Can spirit speak through the wet glory of my lips on her sex, offering prayer? Can there be sacredness in the ceremonious heat of orgasm, worshiping the cock like the holy grail? Can sex be the greatest expression of life loving itself?
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Roxanne Noor is a writer and artistic director living on an island in Thailand. She works to unveil the paradoxical nature of reality and embrace the strange predicament that is the human condition.
Her life is her art.
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